Talking about death is never easy but a Timebank Raglan workshop might just help whānau navigate those difficult conversations.
The End of Life Matters: conversations that we are dying to have workshop on Saturday, November 11 from 2-4.30pm at the Stewart Street hall is a free community event for people of all ages and stages.
Di Jennings and Karen Britton are helping organise the event, which will explore topics around natural burial, tangihanga/te ao Māori approaches to death, death planning, legal matters, life stories, celebrating life, supporting someone nearing the end, grieving and advanced care plans.
The pair hope the workshop will provide opportunities for people to think about and talk about end of life with family, friends and the wider community.
“People are wanting to talk about how we prepare ourselves for dying, how we prepare for our loved ones dying and how we do it better in terms of sustainable funerals or family-led funerals,” Di says.
“We’d like people to realise there’s no one right way and there are more choices than we think. We all know that we’re going to die and our loved ones are going to die, and yet, it’s still a taboo subject.”
Karen, who is a death doula although she prefers to describe her role as ‘companioning the dying’, says every person and family have different needs, and she both guides and is guided by them.
“Sometimes a family needs practical support, sometimes it’s spiritual, or the patient feels freer to discuss their concerns with me as an unbiased, caring and confidential bystander, sometimes it’s about giving family members respite.”
Being a death doula is something Karen does as a gift of service and while she doesn’t necessarily advertise her role, the district nurse and hospice get in touch if a family would like support.
The pair hope the workshop will enable the community to explore local options for end of life.
“This is a preliminary talk about the topic and it’s designed to ascertain what the community wants, what the community needs, so that we can, as a community, be resilient and handle end of life in a really positive and honouring way,” Karen says.
It may even spark wider conversations with Waikato District Council about burial options in Raglan, such as green burials which involve the use of biodegradable containers or shrouds, while avoiding embalming chemicals, traditional caskets and concrete burial chambers.
“Although we’ve got a green burial ground in Hamilton, there’s some interest in Raglan to have a green burial ground here that will eventually grow into native bush,” Karen says.
Run over nine stations to enable easier conversations in small groups, Di says the workshop could be the start of creating a community resource for end of life options, such as a death doula, coffin crafting, grief support and more.
“For me, personally, because I’m getting older, I’m starting to think a bit more about this. One of the stations that really interests me is preparing a dying box. Having a place to put that really practical stuff, like bank accounts, wills, all the legal stuff. But also, maybe your life story, any special message that you want to pass on, if you do have things that you want to happen in terms of the funeral. So when it happens, my son will say, ‘Oh, Mum’s got it all mapped out’.”
Register for the End of Life workshop, Saturday, November 11, 2-4.30pm at the Stewart Street Hall by emailing timebank@Whāingaroa.org.nz.
By Janine Jackson
